Chapter 31 Coming Home

I walk all the home in a daze the next day.  It’s a long walk, but I need time to think.  The events of the past couple days have really taken a toll on me.   How did everything get so out of hand?

I think back to yesterday and what happened to Moe.  The fight was terrible, I didn’t mean to hurt him. I especially didn’t mean to kill him. I just snapped.  I don’t know how I’m going to fix this.  I carried his body up the stairs and buried him next to the pond.  I can’t believe I just buried my brother.  He’s dead because of me.
When I walk in the house, I’m met with a surprise. At the kitchen table, sits 5 children doing homework. Merrilee had the boy’s birthday while I was gone. The boys are both very intent on their homework. I study them for a moment, Robbie looks just like me when I was little.  Mason has inherited his mother’s red hair. They are adorable little guys.  I’m so sorry I missed their birthday.

Merrilee is in the kitchen fixing dinner. I stand there and watch her for a minute.  She is so beautiful. I’ve never deserved her.

“Hello, Merrilee. I’m home” I say quietly, as not to startle her.

Merrilee: “Rob! Wow, you look terrible. Are you ok?”

“Oh, yea. I’m fine. Um, I’m going to go take a shower”

Merrilee: ” Ok, we need to talk Rob.”

“Yea, we can talk later. I’m really, um… tired and dirty. I’m going to shower and then go straight to bed. ”

I walk into the bathroom and break down. I’ve got to keep it together. How did things go so wrong?

I jump in the shower and stay there until the hot water runs out, I try to wash the dirt and guilty feelings down the drain. My body is cleaner, but I can’t wash away  how terrible I feel. I’m about to lose everything and there is nothing more I can do.

I try to pull myself together and walk out of the bathroom. Merrilee is sitting on the couch. Looks like she has already put the children to bed. I can’t put it off any longer. She wants an explanation.  I  better make this good. I walk over and sit next to her on the couch. She just looks straight ahead, as if she can’t bear to look at me.

Merrilee: ” So, are you going to explain to me where you have been?”

” I thought I had a lead on Moe, so I went to the hideout again to look for him. I searched all over the countryside, but I didn’t find any trace of him. Maybe you’re right,  I think he has left the country. I think I shouldl just let the police handle it like you said. ”

Merrilee: ” Well, that is a big turn around. What made you change your mind so quickly?”

” I just don’t want to waste any more time away from you and the kids. I’ve missed so much already.  I can’t believe the boys have become children already.  I hate that I missed their birthday.  I can’t miss anything else. I love you Merrilee. I love our children, and our life!”

Merrilee: ” Oh, Rob! I waited as long as I could with the boys, but they had to age up.  I know you love us.  Let’s just focus on our family and try to forget everything else.”

“That sounds wonderful to me, Babe!”

I stand up and pull Merrilee to me. I hug her tightly. I hope I don’t seem desperate, but I never want to let her go.  I pick her up and carry her upstairs to our bedroom and try to show her how much I love her.

“I love you, Merrilee.  I would do anything to protect you, more than you can ever know.” I whisper as I close my eyes and kiss her softly.

Afterward, I have trouble sleeping.  Finally I drift off to sleep, but have terrible dreams all night.  I’ll never get the imagine of my brother’s body lying on the floor and the Grim Reaper coming to claim  him.

I wake up in a cold sweat,I’m surprised I didn’t wake Merrilee up. She must be exhausted. I know it hasn’t been easy on her with me gone.  I don’t know how I’m going to pretend like nothing has happened, but I have to. To save my marriage and my family. I am a 5 star actor after all, this will be the performance of a lifetime.

We need to get out of town. If anyone finds Moe’s body, they will suspect me. I have the most motive of anyone to kill him.  Luckily, few people know about the compound. Of course, the police know. They have searched it many times, since our escape from there trying to look for clues to catch Moe.  I don’t think they should be suspicious enough to go back there.  I think I’ll arrange to take Merrilee and the children back to France.  A vacation back to where we were all so happy, should make things better. Or maybe she would like to go to China?  I’ll talk to Merrilee in the morning about it.

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